Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Sex is Overrated!!

Omg, finally yes. He did something which is not related to music, but extended his hand as a friend. I'm talking about the music teacher. This time around he sent a Christmas card to me and my husband, along with the newsletter of yearlong events which happened between him and his boyfriend. Thereby, officially declaring that he is GAY. Nothing says directly that the other guy as his partner, but celebrating important events and traveling together to different countries....what else they can be...haha.

On the last day of class, I noticed in his eyes, his desperation to tell it all, but did not find privacy to say. The question is why and with whom do you feel like sharing a very important detail of your life. What compelled him to share? One way his newsletter kills any kind of romance between us--the two opposite sex, but in the other way, it declares his fondness to be my friend, and his likeness towards me. That makes me think of who needs sexual attraction, when true, pure feelings of liking someone as a friend is so much better. Think about it for a second: why he wants to share the not-so-desirable-gay status, only when you think that the other person understands and likes you however you're. And that kind of trust I gained with him. And that is so huge for me.

If I don't visualize  sex between same sex couples, I don't mind at all that he has relationship with another guy, because in this world it is so difficult to live alone. You want someone, anyone to share your life, money, success, happiness, feeling of togetherness. So what's wrong if he has found love from another guy. If he is happy and satisfied, then how does it matter. Look at me, I'm straight and married, but I don't understand what it feels like expressing love without feeling fear of humiliation or unrequited love. With hundred percent, I can say that when it comes to having a loving partner, he is in much better position than me. 

Yes, of course, he doesn't have normalcy, no children, sometimes maybe aloofness, especially during holidays when everybody is celebrating with their family, with extended family, proudly displaying their kids' success, progress...but here in Gay man's life, if everybody has accepted his life, then they will welcome both of them as a couple, or else, the gay couple have to celebrate away from each other. It is hard to understand that someone like this music teacher wants to go through this pain, thinking that they can never find a woman to satisfy their romantic needs. I sometimes feel that when you are willing to love someone unconditionally, it can be possible to find romance, provided the other person reciprocates to your willingness. As far as I know you can fool your brain. Falling in love is a temporary thing, but when you decide to commit, that's the thing can be done with anybody, regardless of your sexual orientation. It is about discipline. We, humans get attached to any kind of pet, once we start thinking them as ours. It's all about initiation, filling the feelings, and abiding to that feelings...in that way we can fool ourselves. After all, after certain years of marriage, sex takes backseat. It's all about coexistence, holding on to family not only for yourself, but for your kids future. So I don't understand why he has to go other way. He would have difinitely found someone with musical background as his romantic partner. First few years, he may have to act like he likes her, but once you've kids or developing a certain pattern, you start feeling like this person belongs to me, part of me and that's it; you'll have all the normalcy yi want. That's why I say: sex, romance is overrated. In long term journey of life, all you need is someone to share your life with.

OMG, the ending of his newsletter is so touchy when he talked about a picture in which his partner was cycling in Spain With a spectacular view in the background; for which the music teacher commented saying that no view is spectacular than his partner's wide grin when he cycles around the world.

That kind of expression took my breath away. Wow, just wow, to express feelings for someone like that. I bet his love is reciprocated, or else it is difficult to express such true and tender feelings. That's what makes me sad that I don't have such true, pure feelings for my husband, and I bet he doesn't too. Which really makes me question: is it really possible to have such feelings after a very long relationship. How can they be so compatible for so long without any annimosity or arguments or without jealousiness? I really wish I could feel like that for my husband and in return get the same beautiful treatment.

Anyway, when I thanked him for his upgrade status, he said that he is really grateful for my lovely family. Warmth, intellect, and passion are the traits which are not easily to be found. 

I think that he is talking about me indirectly, but "intellect", hmmm... About me, I don't know. So was it about my family traits? Maybe....I don't know sometimes I feel he has feelings for me. Awwww...pull the elastic band as whenever I get that feelings I need to get punished as we all know he is a GAY who shared a newsletter about his partner.

Sometimes I think that after meeting me, he might have thought that possibility of straight life would have been possible if a person like me plus musical background came into his life before he jumped the other side of the world. 

And sometimes I think that for gays, there is such a huge world to cover to fight with the feelings of jealousiness; other men and sometimes women too. I overly think about my powers as a woman...haha. But sometimes because of insecuritiness, such thought may creep in whenever they become close to any sex in the world. Their world is so huge for flirting, and the music teacher can really put such a question in a single woman's mind is he single as he dresses well, fit and knowledgable.

Anyway to my previous text, he did not reply...sigh...wish I just said thanks for his praises.

The below messages are after second recital:

Him: I'm super proud of the progress made over the past few weeks and hope you take my comments following the recital with a grain of salt. I was proud of both [kids name mentioned] were the highlight of the program. 👏👍🎉

Thank you!!  I hope you have a wonderful evening!!!  😀

Me: Yes, at first, it was surprising (slightly shocking) to hear that you were not totally satisfied with my son's performance because you try to look for positives. Usually, I'm the one who finds something wrong, but now, we both seems to be on the same page; expecting "close to perfectionism". Of course, when you see potential and when you work hard to make them live up to their potential, you start focusing on what's missing and how to make them better. There is nothing wrong in what you have said. I'm happy to hear such comments from you, and for trusting and expecting more from them.

I feel like bowing to you for your dedication to teaching for offering weekend help to every student. It was really commendable. 

I'm surprised to see one more duet in the program. I'm glad my kids are encouraging others to pursue love for music, and at the same time feel pride in 
delivering the piece successfully as a team.

Have a great week!!!

Him: I couldn't agree more with everything you said. :-) thank you!!!

This is after receiving his newsletter:

Me: Thank you for the upgrade!!!😊
Thank you for the lovely newsletter and the card.
Thank you for your acknowledgement to the kids.

Him: Thank you for the lovely text!!  I'm so grateful for your lovely family. Warmth, intellect and passion are not always an easy combination to find. 😀
For some reason I didn't receive your text. It went to my iPad instead of phone yesterday. And I didn't look there.


Me: No wonder, they say it is the most wonderful time of the year.
Haha...let the compliments ring.

Thank you for your sweet comments. I liked one particular line in your newsletter. It is just so touchy and hmmm...tender, resonates your true feelings.👏

I think you've started identifying your iPad with your phone number. That's why your previous message was delivered as a text, instead of iMessage.

Hope the labradoodle owner calls you as you're second in line. Someone who is an owner of three year old labradoodle has shown interest too.

Have a merry time!!!
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NO REPLY....😒