Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I'm a distraction

On Sunday, my kids had their first piano competition under this new male (shhh...gay) teacher. My kids till now in the past competitions always wowed the crowd. Even composers like Robert Vandall and Christopher Norton posted great comments on their rendition on YouTube. 

The Sunday competition was totally dominated by Chinese. Shockingly, my kids didn't do well at all. First of all, the piano teacher registered them too late, and second my son went through sniffles, right when he was performing, and that too for Haydn's piece "Sonata in E minor". This competition is not just being notes correct, but more about technique, confidence, dynamics, shaping phrases, articulation, and how comfortable you're while performing.

The question is how I'm a distraction. I think I'm distracting piano teacher from his responsibility. I think he enrolled my kids in this competition is to impress me. Why do i think so? Because he enrolled on the last date of enrollment, not six months ago or even a month ago. By that time, my son didn't even get formal training for the half of the piece, and conpetition was within twenty two days. His good natured actions makes me directly say good things to him, which indirectly makes him to crave for my attention. That is human psychology. If one shows interest in us, or praises highly we would like to keep that door open by overly doing more and more, just to please them.

Do you think I have a capability to turn a guy who is involved in fifteen year gay relationship into a straight guy? I don't think so it is possible. So I guess he just wants my attention like the way I do. He watches me, observes my reaction to his jokes, even gave couple of piano classes free, and even bought a side sofa from COSTCO for his room to make me feel comfortable during the waiting time while the class is going on, and even more- changed his living room setup after thirteen years(teaching years) to sit right side of piano and still be able to see me(Well, how do I know this: because in the previous class, he sat right side of the piano while teaching, which is right infront of the sofa where I was sitting..so he couldn't see me or I couldn't see his expressions....at that time, I thought weird...and just left it thinking this is how people are - just lose interest on me after a while). He indirectly finds out from kids of what we did during weekends. I was surprised when he cleverly asked my son of what we did for New year. He even wanted to teach few more classes for free but I couldn't accept as that week I chaperoned for my sons's four day field trip. When we cane back, he was so glad to see us, literally saw the expressions on his face.

This was the email I composed after he bought sofa from Costco:

"That was really a nice gesture by you to think about our comfortability and do shopping at Costco. We might have shown willingness towards the other room, but actually your room is cozy. It may take few minutes to adjust, but once you settle in, all you get is coziness and a fruitful class. 

Good to see you being back and in full spirit. Whatever reason, you really looked bright, happy and full of life. This kind of personality was absent in December. Kind of waned off at the end of [my son]'s class. Yes, understandable! 

Thank you very much for everything you do!! Whenever you're too nice, I start worrying about my behavior.  Questions creep in like was I bad somewhere or whatever. Anyway please just excuse me, if I do/did anything wrong.

Have a great weekend!!"

One reason, might be the only reason is I shower him all the time with high praises as I believe that everybody should praise openly if it is worthy of soneone's praise.

Totally funny thing is the whenever I praise on something, the following week when I meet him, he will try to do overly. I laugh within myself with his innocence and seeing how everybody loves attention.

Whatever or how short this lasts, I don't care as I'm enjoying genuine showering and getting showered. The other day when I found a hair from my eyelash, I placed it on my palm, closed my eyes and silently wished of what I desired, and blew air for the hair to fly away. They say if you blow away the hair properly, your wish will come true. My mind gave me suggestion of why not wish for him to become straight guy, but then I thought what's the use, that will only screw up his and his partner's life. So instead of that I wished us to be always forever be nice with each other with real affection.

He and his partner has really beautiful affectionate relationship. How do I know? Hmmm...heard  FACEBOOK ever. Haha! I saw their Rome and French alps pictures - nothing was together, but they took each other's pictures. His boyfriend had a cute folder with title as "what [teacher's name] is upto". And in that folder, pictures of him cooking, a surprised face when he got birthday gifts, ......so and so. Just represented a very cute relationship. 

Hope he will be a great teacher and do real justice to my kids by teaching great and doing or taking decisions in their best interest rather than just to please me.

I guess this is what is going on with him like the way I felt when I met Steward:

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

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