Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Domestic abuse

How can you get out of it?

Fear of how to survive, how to take care of kids, how to become financially independent....how? how?

But once you're ready to take that one step of "no more abuse", that's when you'll get courage, God provides you path....will find answers for you. Just trust him, and dive into that decision, even it may it look like suicidal, but believe me he will take care, he has solutions for you, and for your kids.

The beauty of living in America is the public education which is free, and if kids study well, they even will get college scholarship. So no need to worry about their education. Government provides half price lunches too for kids. All you need to do is get a decent job which pays for rent, and minimal expenses for food.

Yes, this kind of life seems to be tough, scary,...but don't you think kids are much better off compare to this environment, than the abuse, the fight, the loud arguements, what will happen to their mental state, attention span - will lead to depression, anger, missteps...

God blessed you with beautiful children who can have a great future, but only if you come out of this hell.

What will parents do if they come to know that their child is in physical and mental abusive relationship - will they worry about confrontation or will they take action? Some parents worry about breaking up their daughter's marriage, if they confront. They choose to be quiet, but are they waiting for the ultimate disaster to happen - the breaking news.

You cannot provide script to parents about how and what to confront, such things have to come naturally. When you're engulfed with anger and emotions, you don't wait for the script, but you act, you threaten the abuser - remind him that there will be a consequence for his lousy actions. He will pay the price.

I hate this world where abusers live, who cause destruction and havoc to others, showing their mightiness on helpless people, forgetting that there will be repercussions. 

How do you solve domestic abuse, once you have kids? How?

Friday, September 20, 2013

Reality Bites

Yeah, me and him would have been like Elaina and Troy in the movie "Reality Bites", immense love for eachother, but problem to express to each other in understandable way. He looked at me like the way Troy looks at Elaina - want to say so many things, but cannot. The way he looked at me like he had answers for all my problems, but at the end, he just left me to do the search. Well, I'm tired of searching. I'm never going to see him again. 

Yesterday, a Lufthansa flight which is supposed to land in Houston, got diverted to Dallas because of weather related situation, so the pilot decided to refuel at DFW. The excitement of Dallassites was amazing. Of course, they were all delighted to see A380, but I was excited to see LH 441in Dallas. This is where the story unfolded with steward. He might have been there on this plane.....who knows?!

               Courtsey: DFW Airport

And yesterday, someone from Germany spent time on my blog posts. That's what encouraged me to blog again.

Well, nothing great going on in my life. I feel so lonely and miserable. In personal level(excluding kids' progress), I have nothing great to look forward. And on top of that, I got a speeding ticket the other day, and one month ago, I hit other car while reversing. So expenses, expenses after Euro trip. Speeding ticket was good thing to happen as it will put me in control and be responsible...you need that kind of slaps to remind that you're are not invincible.

I'm learning German using "Memrise" APP. Omg! It is so difficult. Well, I can identify few words in tweets by Lufthansa DE. iChat Harte SpaB mit steward.(I has fun with steward.)

Once a week, I participate in Twitter's hashtag discussions. I sometimes get response from Lufthansa. Oh yeah, I'm investing my time in knowing the company.

My kids are learning from a German-American musician. Yes, fate - German! Do you know, he is Gay. My first exposure to Gayness. I never interacted with a Gay person before. I heard that every woman will be in happy state of mind, if they have atleast one gay friend. I already can feel it. This guy has so much vibrancy and excitement, especially in his eyes, you feel it too, when you communicate with him. The other day, he had his birthday, he was so excited to go to a restaurant. He said, "gosh, I need to hurry, today is  my BIRTHDAY, someone is going to pick me up." - when was the last time, you've seen a guy showing excitement for his own birthday. It felt good to see some kind of positive reaction to some special events, instead of treating everyday the same. He is great in teaching - interacts very well with the kids. So far so good.

Currently, I'm reading Sophia Kinsella's "I've got your number." At one instance in this novel, the main character faces a scrabble game fiasco with her would-be in laws, reminded me my own incident - I never played scrabble before my marriage, and I did not get to read as many books in my childhood/college days as some rich kids'  or someone who had association with people who can afford, no libraries in India like here to borrow latest and popular books - well, whatever reason, my parents did not encourage us to do casual reading. So I know that I don't have vast vocabulary to play scrabble to impress my Father in law, so I choose to skip by saying that I don't feel like playing, but do you know what my FIL said to her newly DIL(that is me), whom they selected, that I need to know English to play, that too in front of his relatives. What can you say - Indian marriages suck!

My husband, he doesn't know what I go through, my feelings, my loneliness - all he wants is sex whenever the "thing" gives him indication. During that time, I should be available, and during that time, suddenly he will be interested in my life, if I don't budge for his acting, he will first throw emotional dialogues, and then blame me. After some harsh statements, he will act consoling by saying "sorry" to reach make-up sex stage - just pretentious world, nothing to rely on. Well, you may ask - why are you with him? Because I have no where to go, I've kids - that is my priority, and I know there is no good out there - something better than having nothing.

Just now, found the results of P1 exam - before finding out the result, I asked myself do you want to be in, do you want to go through some more hellish exams , some more hell time - "HELL NO", was the answer. Well, accordingly, my name was not even there. Hahahaha...don't know whether this is real laugh or fake....I don't care. Only one question popping out of my head, to God - "why did you make me go through that hell? WHYYYYYYY!!!!

If you remember my bet with myself, if I pass, he remembers or likes me, otherwise we know what. So I hear ya, loud and clear! 

Life sucks! It just sucks, and there is no way to get out off it!😥😥😥😥

Just failure/loser is written all over me, and there is no bright light at the end of the tunnel, or no steward to raise up my spirits - to see something special in me,  which I'am not able to see within myself.

End this post with this thought: "If you want something in your life you never had, you’ll have to do something you have never done." - @theLoveAid

"Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. You only have one life and one chance to do it all." - @TheLoveAid - This one justifies anything or everything we do without any barrier of any kind.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Hmmm..so it is possible!!

"Just got a message from an air steward on my flight to Thailand who found me on fb..

Didn't give him my name, passport or anything :|"

This tweet from someone made me sad. So it looks like it is possible to contact passenger, and still my steward did not try to find me, or maybe found, but was disappointed with what he found, so never tried to contact. 😒😥