Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Welcome to Motherhood

On Friday, my sister called up to inform that she is expecting a baby. As you know, my sister struggled with infertility for years. My Brother-in-law co-operated and never hesitated to go through the process of IVF method.

The long and enduring process of IVF. Can make you closer to your husband...while at the same time going through the emotional journey together and if everything goes well...voila, the appreciation of being there for each other through turbulent makes the bond much more stronger.
In the United States, the live birth rate for each IVF cycle started is approximately: 30 to 35% for women under age 35; 25% for women ages 35 to 37; 
The miracle of God and of course being in USA, helped her to fulfill her long desire. Numerous times, I heard her cry inconsolably over the phone about this topic or whenever she was unsuccessful about her attempts to become pregnant. I even offered her to lend my eggs. I insisted her to think about abortion. Once an infant child is placed in your hands, you automatically genuinely show love and treat the baby as your own. Yes, the baby will not look like you or like your husband but at least you'll experience the parenthood. She agreed and even read few articles about the adoption process but came to conclusion that the process is long and difficult. 

It may sound funny, but I believe in rebirth. Light-heartedly, once I told my sister that the baby is still in previous birth so just be patient until his/her past life gets over. I guess, once the soul left the old life, entered a new life in my sister's womb. There is this one popular song in one of the languages of India which says - who are you, who are you, who came into this mother's laps.

For some reason, recent events have made me firmly believe that God gives us pain - only if he thinks we can bear the pain. In one of our phone conversations, I told my sister that God has plan and whatever we have and what we don't have is even though we often feel that we deserve but God knows better than that. So now, I may sound nonsensical but there might be some reason for the delay of your pregnancy....just patient. That day's conversation consoled her for awhile. If I think about "the wants" and "desires", how much ever we crib about it, it will happen only if it has to happen.

Anyway I am so happy for her. Now she gets a chance to raise someone with unconditional love. Anybody cares for you or not, but the affection showered by a child is pure. Their talks and actions are cute and genuine. The thrill of raising someone, taking responsibility of a human being is beautiful and scary. Let me tell me my personal experience of motherhood, this was when my daughter was a month old baby. She had to take this monthly shot and when the administered the shot, my daughter started crying, and at that moment, I literally felt the milk flowing inside my breasts. I guess the pain and cry of hers, gave a signal to my breast I guess. I'll never forget that experience. That's when I understood, how deeply I'm involved with my baby. I don't think so the breast incident would have happened if the other baby from the other room cried with pain. That's the magic of motherhood.

I told her to take picture of her body every month. It is really amazing how you transform. If I think about it, I question myself about how did I manage, how I did not feel shy, walking  and looking huge. But during that time, all you feel is special especially when you start feeling the movements of the baby, a little poke here and there. Fun fun time, of course if you don't feel nausea which I did not experience. I had a smooth pregnancy. I even used to do pregnancy exercises all throughout the pregnancy, heard classic music, ate healthy food but I did not had any special cravings which everybody talks about. First time pregnancy are always the best, to walk into an unknown world, experiencing from monthly doc meet-ups to sonograms to the world making you feel special and asking about your well-being to to my shopping for the baby and baby's room to the movements of this unknown person inside your body and then think about the delivery date. Will everything happen smooth? Are you ready for the unbearable pain which you heard it on TV shows? Will you get on time the anesthesia ? How will the baby look? How will I feel once I see him/her? 

Even though, I experienced and delivered twice, I can't say anything about the pain. Mine was as smooth as a beautiful fairy tale. I cherished every moment of it. I don't know how time went by, but I truly devoted myself every day for first five years of my kids until they started their school years.

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