Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Post Royal Wedding Thoughts.....

Yes, I was one among two million Americans who watched the Royal Wedding. Some kind of excitement urged me to join hoopla created by media. Up until a week ago I had absolutely no interest in the Royal Wedding. But something happened over the past few days. I became obsessed.

As I watched, I couldn't stop myself thinking about how perfectly everything took place as if it was like a movie, even the weather co-operated as if the rain god too respects and obeys the Majesty.

The streets were so nicely decorated with flags and people dressed in bright colors looked so lovely and unbelievably true to eyes. I liked the way William looked at Kate through her veil and said she looks beautiful and I liked the way he looked at her while she was uttering the magic words of acceptance. Choosing one woman among so many would have been an uphill task and trusting that person that she will come true to what he saw in her rather than someone acting out to become princess. Even though media criticized the way he kissed her on the balcony, I liked it. It was a tender moment and little bit shyness and delicacy. When I looked at Kate in her wedding dress, I couldn't stop myself thinking of why it is so essential to marry when you're in early 20's as she missed the tender and innocent look on her face like the way Diana looked. But Kate and Will looked fabulous and perfect for each other. You can actually see the chemistry and understanding between each other. They were destined to be each others soul mates.

Even though I saw a perfect Prince and Princess marriage, I did not jump up and down or felt a wee bit jealous of why I am not part of that kind of love. May be I'm mature enough to know the truth that life is not that easy to be perfect all the time. After being in marriage, I know that just like normal people, they too will have In-laws problem, acting like superior breed of course here it might be true, arguments, egos, attention disorder, jealousness and what not, who knows frustration leading to infidelity. One good thing between them is they know about each other from a decade but, yeah, still "but" exist as new people are entering in their life so called family members and which leads to new laws, rules for which Kate need to abide.

So, all those who ate junk food and slouched on couch with grief seeing these beautiful groom and bride, an unimaginable love story............hold on, everything looks beautiful from far but once you come closer and closer, you'll see the cracks. Pictures always gives us illusions of like the world is so ravishingly beautiful but nothing is close to the truth. Cracks are part of life and part of us, that's how we are................need to love and cherish what we have and main thing is accepting of who we are and what we have then you'll enjoy your life because once its gone, it is gone baby. Enjoy while it lasts whatever it is.

While I was reading "The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers" by Meg Meeker, I came across on page 202 of how Indian mothers find solace by keeping the hope alive and if they were hopeless, they refused the illusion that they could fix many of their problems. They realized that many of their circumstances were out of control, so they didn't attempt to fix them. They surrendered. They had little legal recourse, sparse medical help, and no counseling for much of their psychological pain. They had no gyms to go to or ice cream in the freezer. They went to temples and pleaded and prayed. 

Being an Indian myself, the author is 100% right on this topic. It is so true.No wonder my mom never worried about how she looked by constantly thinking about wrinkles, make up and concealers. I never heard or seen my mom crying and sobbing constantly or thinking about going to Psychiatrist trip. I never heard from my mom saying that I'm bored of my life, I need therapy. I didn't even know that junk food helps you feel better when you are morose. Such topics never existed. They accepted and lived their life, the way the author described, by praying and accepting that this is how my life is and by being sincere and true to their circumstances.
 But here in USA, as the author says, We bat hope away once, and then we do it again and again. That is the problem number one. Problem number two happens when we try alternate paths to make our situations better, and the new paths fail. In short, we find wrong answers to out our problems because we use the wrong methods to fix them. If we are depressed, we drink. If we are mad, we scream at our kids. And is we are sad, we eat Haagan Das. If we are unhappy in marriage, we start having affairs. If the sun doesn't rise, we will figure out how to make it come up. We will make out frustration go away by doing something that will divert our attention and so make us feel better. Maybe we'll work harder at the office, take on more projects, etc, to avoid seeing we can't do a darn thing about the sun's behavior. Something or someone else is in charge of it. We compound our problems by trying the wrong solutions and thus hope disappears. 

No wonder botox, liposuction, concealers to hide our flaws and be perfect. I ask why? Why are they putting pressure on everybody instead of growing up wisely and gracefully. Don't think that I don't fall for these inventions. I do as society forces me to put on make up and look perfect and flawless. But sometimes I feel like living life like mom without worrying about makeup or perfect hair day or wrinkles or gray hair. Concentrate more on kids and their future.......bigger things in life.

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