Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Keep Your Circle Small!

The key for a successful and long lasting marriage is keeping your circle small. By that what I mean to say is to have smaller group of friends with whom you love to interact on weekends. More people the more messier life will become. On particular occasion, my husband got an invitation to watch football and the other one invited him for a walk. I personally feel that once you're married, you're obligated to spend alone time with your partner and group time as a couple with your friends as in this way, you'll always be part of your partners life. The whole point of marrying is to have a companion and not to feel lonely. To do things together and not have your own set of friends and set a time for your loved ones. Things don't work that away. Friends go and new friends come, but you can't change your partner as easily as friends. I've noticed couple of men who love to have man-o-man conversation and prefer to be away from wife even though they did not spend enough time with their partner. Why? That kind of scenario clearly states that things are not going that well. And those people definitely indulge other men to follow them.

Doing things as a family, thinking what's good for your kids, getting involved in their day to day life and relaxing at the end of the day while watching TV or a movie or talking about the day with your partner  makes and feels like you've a real life which everyone craves for it but when you've it, you won't cherish it. I strongly feel that once you're married, you need to do things together, particularly socializing after work hours. Girls and guys night out sounds fun but they are the just the starters which lead you to a wrong direction. Slowly but surely you'll drift away from your family and kids. Of course, everybody needs social interactions with friends but involve your spouse, and even sometimes your kids, make it wholesome. A tight knit family will create a bond between one another and which in turn creates openness and trust which in turn makes it easy for a family member to come out with whatever crisis an individual is going through. Actually sometimes I feel who needs friends when you've beautiful family to take care of and feel the family love. But there is a risk too, what if, they drift away by newly formed friends or demands of work then you'll be all alone with no friends. But then I think of people making new friends all the time. You may not have a closer friend on whom you can rely but only few lucky will find such a friend and the rest are just like passing clouds.

Remember the mantra, keep  your circle small. The lesser the space and lesser people, the more we are into the lives of people who are in the circle. Just visualize a small circle and think about what I'm saying. Walk inside the circle, you'll bump to someone or the other inside the circle and will start a conversation about everything in their life and in that no one is aloof.

Back in India, we never had a big house or a separate room for each kid. We used to sit together, watch TV together, study, tease each other and even fight with each other. We know about everybody and what they are up to? No place to hide. Some of the perks of having a small circle.

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