Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Always Expect Reunion

Now a days, whenever I see a couple breaking up, it breaks my heart and I keep on expecting them to meet again. It gives me some kind of satisfaction and gives me a hope that the seperation is not the end of them but they'll meet again and again until they are surrounded by love and affection and if true love exists between them.

The other day, when I was watching the movie "Leap Year",  the characters of the movie go through the same scenario...I was like "that's it, the Ireland guy will never meet her again? Is it the end of their journey? What was the worth of meeting and knowing him?" But...because it was a movie, they do meet. She leaves her boyfriend, job, country and travels 3000 miles to Ireland to marry him.

J, do you think we'll meet or interact again? Its all in your hands but you want to let me go. Even though you care but you just want to move on. I guess my affection was not enough to pull you back. Who knows what you might be thinking...I'm tired of following on the internet but I keep on doing it, I don't know for how long. I'm so irritated with myself that why I can't let you go off...why can't I think that this world is big enough and very easy to forget someone....why can't I use my energy and attention to do something better...why can't I think that if one door closes and the other is awaiting to be opened....why can't I think there are endless possibilities and if someone doesn't care and can't interact, that's not the end.

I need self control, discipline and motivation. You kept all kinds of web trackers to stop me from browsing for you. To say the truth, it really helps and forces me to not to go to your Facebook or  Myspace, or Twitter or your friends profiles as I don't want to give any indication to you that I exist. Only one thing, I 'm doing now a days is typing only half of your name on Facebook's iPhone app and it shows your profile picture and I do that everyday even though you don't change your profile everyday. I feel embarrassed to do it but I keep on doing it. I know I am hopeless, worthless, stupidest person on the Earth. But if I'm curious and want to find something, I just can't stop it. I'll get frustrated until I do it. By typing half of your name, I'm not harming you or anybody but if you can watch what I'm doing on Facebook then I can't help it other than feel embarrassed for you to know how hopeless I am and how stupid one person can be. Anyway, ball is in your court so enjoy the fun of embarrassing me but remember and I can definitely say that I showed you what is unconditional love and you'll all throughout your life miss my affection and attention. I wish you best and feel miserable when I think of my mental condition. Wish someone cures and lets me know, why I'm still struggling to forget you. You were correct about me being immature. So true!!

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