Thursday, November 25, 2010

Virtual Love Saga

You may not believe this but I'm surrounded by mysteriousness and I don't know how to solve it. Wish a computer genius who is very good at javascript will be willing to help me.

This is a story about a man with whom I interwoven myself with my heart and soul in a pure way not in a sexual way but with a deep attachment which even after two years still as strong as when it started. As far as I know, only a psychiatrist can answer my attachment towards this person.

Let us talk about unresolved mystery, shall we? He is using some kind of tracking code on my Facebook and able to know about my browsing history on Facebook. He is not my friend on Facebook but he knows when I login and what I do. The question you want to ask me is how do I know. While I was sleeping, my brain was busy analyzing all the possibilities  Whenever I check for his or his unreal girlfriend's status messages through one of his friend's friend list, he will know and promptly he updates his profile picture and lets me know in a naughty way that he is top of things and has full control over what I do.

So what I did is found an uncommon and rarely used friend's list from his unreal girlfriend's friends list which btw has 1000 friends. But still he was able to find out and by next day, she removed him from his friends list. Don't you think this is fishy. Without knowing this, I went through many profiles from his friends list and some where his relatives and now they all kept themselves private. In past when we were going through misunderstanding period, I told him to make his profile private so that is the reason, he can interact only through by updating profile picture.

My understanding is if I use iPhone app, he will not be knowing my browsing pattern but if I use any kind of browser, he is getting some kind of my session information. The so called Facebook privacy is creeping me out.

He has control over Google search. He gets some kind of notification whenever someone searches for him. When I searched for his fake forum name, he promptly mentioned about his weekend long drive. Whenever he interacts or catches me, I can feel his enthusiasm, his liveliness which just pours out and that always gives me indication that he caught me. My question is why can't he interact directly and say I miss you, talk to me, I need you, I want to be your friend  I want to be in touch with you but he won't send me an email or anywhere on the internet displays direct interaction with me like if interacting with me is a taboo. I sent him countless emails about my attachment towards him and how I want to be in touch with him forever and be a good friend. Even though, he accepts my friendship, never talks to me directly or answers to my questions in my email. I'm so tired of waiting for a proof which says his attachment towards me or about how his gladness over finding him on the internet or how we keep on get separated but still able to find each other somewhere on the internet or how we keep track of each others moves on the internet.

I understand your actions but I'm dying for words. I'm miserably losing weight due to being emotional and clinging to something which might not be anything. If we are something extraordinary like "The Notebook" movie, one day you'll write to me without being worried about the world.

One more weird thing happened is when I was drawing a movie actress as a part of my media room art project, I drew his so-called girlfriend's face. Can you believe it?


How weird can this be.... out of all the faces on the Earth, my hand leads to her.

As always my brain plays a right song at right time and right now its playing Nicky Minaj's "Right Through Me".

You see right through me
How do you do that shit? x3
How do you x5

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