Friday, November 26, 2010

It's Complicated!!

Yesterday, I watched the funny movie "It's Complicated". Made me laugh-out-loud. Meryl Streep and Alec Balwin's acting was amazing. Especially, I liked the background music they play whenever Alec Baldwin gets weird thoughts to get attention of his Ex-wife.

The movie ends with both going separate directions even though he leaves his current wife to be with his ex and expresses his love that has never changed over the divorced period, Meryl doesn't accept his proposal.

If I did not experience such failures in my life, I would've easily said 'oh why can't she agree and live happily ever-after  after all he left his wife and once again back to you with all his love' but the truth is not that plain. On the surface, things may look smooth with all the fun and the attention but the scars of the past won't go away.

Even though I'm desperate and miss the person who I think has become part of my life, inspite of him trying to do subtle things like updating FB profile or sharing his personal stuff on forum, I can't send him a message as it is complicated and things won't happen the way you want it to be and of course big "Uncertain future". That's why, once he said S.O.S in reference to my saying 'Why it is so complicated?'.

I was surprised to see that he won't mind me snooping around for him on the internet to find his latest details. He actually changed his signature on the forum with his real name so that I won't get confused and giving assurance that I'm following a right candidate. I know he likes me and loves to share nitty-gritty things about his life but inspite of that we both know that we are not meant to be so we have to let it go and accept the truth.

Its been 64 days without writing an email to him. Are we done J? 'cause in the past, we always somehow got back together but this time it looks real.Yeah, time will create distance between us in our minds and we slowly lead ourselves in different directions and that will be the end of us.

As usual my brain has a song for this occasion....it is Christina Perri's Jar Of Hearts.

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

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