Friday, September 10, 2010

Everything Reminds Me of Him

Getting appreciation emails from parents for my quick tip about homework-delivered-in-your-inbox. I was smiling to myself with this sudden recognition and awareness of parents about my talent but suddenly tears roll down from my face. For some reason, it made me think about him. Like this keeps happening to me, from happy interaction with friends to listening to some beautiful soulful music which my kids play on the piano makes me think about him. The other day, I was upset with my facebook friend and even that too reminded me of him and I was like I don't care for anyone. Then MJ's "Leave Me Alone" has rung in my head. But then suddenly, I got a twitter message in my inbox, of course I created an alert whenever some kind of tweet happens on his sisters twitter account. It sounds so bizarre, right? I agree but that's how it is. Anyway, this brief incident changed my leave-me-alone state of mind to hug-me state of mind. That's how my mind fluctuates. And that's when I think of listen-to-me-you-foolish-heart.

But you will amazed if you hear this: the tweets which come to my inbox from his sisters twitter account is not current tweets but old tweets, the tweeted tweets happened when he and I were in some kind of hide-and-seek interaction. Yahoo alerts only when new tweets happen but with this account, I always get even old tweets. I just don't know, whether any mysterious action done by him or yahoo is fooling me because the messages doesn't show up as new on the twitter page.Whatever, that yahoo alert changes my mood and I'll become normal happy person again. Aaaah...I hate it for someone to have that much control on my mind.

Just now, mysterious thing happened. I was seriously blogging away my thoughts and suddenly Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" started playing. I was like from where is it coming from. For a second, I thought, it came from finetune as I opened it in browser to search for a website where I can upload audio files for my blog as blogger doesn't provide that service. Nothing was playing on that website. So, I muted the computer and still the song was playing. To my surprise, it came from my ITouch. Somehow, automatically music started and that makes me think about an article, once I read on CNN. If  your cell phone lights up automatically without anybody touching or switching on, that means someone has remote access to your cell. Is it possible, someone can reach my ITouch remotely through any hidden software? Who a days anything is possible.

It is really therapeutic to right down your thoughts and feelings even though it is an outdated concept.

Little bit about therapeutic-journaling:

Write down your thoughts and feelings every day. Don't write about your day as if you're reporting the news. Talk to your journal as if you expect it to answer you. Most of the time, if you hold this attitude -- it will. Answers will emerge from the depths of your consciousness that you never dreamed were there. Long forgotten feelings will emerge (like resentments, rage or grief). Deep wisdom and compassion will suddenly show up. Insights will develop and you may find yourself giving the best advice you've ever gotten. Journaling your dreams is also a very powerful tool for gaining deep self-awareness.

Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself !

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