Sunday, September 5, 2010

Arranged Marriages

On Friday, along with my family, I went to have a get together with a South Indian family who are from Indian Silicon city Bangalore. As you might have heard every Indian state has a different Indian language. Si even though, they are from Bangalore, there ancestors are from different state called Tamil Nadu where they speak Tamil and in Bangalore they speak another Indian language called 'Kannada'. So the wife still believes that she is Tamilian but husband believes that he is Kannadiga. So because of his more anti-Tamil talk made the wife to hate Kannada language so after marriage, she stopped talking Kannada even though she was brought up and studied in Kannada language. So in their house, a language war is going on like she replies in Tamil when he is speaking with her in Kannada and when it comes to kids, they know with whom which language to speak. The couple are ready to see a third language movies whether it is English or Telugu ( another state language) but not birth or ancestors language. This is so called "Arranged Marriages".

Another marriage story: Yesterday, we went to meet a different family from Pakistan. I don't know what the husband did in the past but the wife is so insecure. She openly tells others about not trusting men and indirectly let's others know that she has no trust on him. She has done Masters in fianance that too in London and very capable of taking care of her son and doing all the necessary things for her home. She speaks good English and knows very well how to organize a get together. Everything was nicely served in a restaurant style. I was very impressed with her etiquette. Why and where does this insecurity comes from? As far as what I noticed, husband won't encourage her to be independent.

Always surprises me how Arranged Marriages with respect to Asian families are successful. It proves that you don't need love to run a successful family but an attitude that this is how it is and you just have to accept and move with lifes up and down situations not a quick breakup but few adjustments here and there to have a beautiful family and togetherness with loved ones without letting go off your bad EGO. No one is perfect but some has that talent of making it look like it's not a big deal.

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